Feeling good, feeling great. Feeling great, feeling good. How are you?

Well, currently there has been a lot of changes going on in my life.  Sudden changes, that I don’t know if I should either be scare shitless, or simply just excited about.

After a whirlwind where I did not have luck getting a job that would relate to my degree, let alone an interview, or a simple “Sorry, you are the weakest link. Goodbye.” I have been getting e-mails back asking me to schedule myself for interviews for companies.

Usually, I’m not fond of change.  Change usually scares me, it makes me sleep less at night.  I remember me waiting until the very last minute when it came to applying for schools, because I didn’t like the fact that I was leaving home, and would start living somewhere else.  Living away from my parents?  That idea never crossed my mind right away, and maybe that’s why I settled for Community College for my first year during school, because that was a lot easier to handle than going away and living on my own without any support what so ever.

I have to do my own laundry?  I have to worry about feeding myself?  Oh, the horror!

And, I got use to it.  Sure it took longer than I think anyone expected, but I got use to it.  I think I finally got use to it, my last full year at Ramapo.  My last year at Ramapo, is still my favorite year all around from everything that happened.  From the beginning to the bitter end, when everyone had to leave me there for an extra semester, while they all decided that it was a good idea for them to graduate, I finally felt at ease.  I rarely came home.  I was only home if it was really required for me to be there (ie – sister’s birthday, holiday), or if I needed something.  I rarely slept, especially when it came to me having to work rather early the next morning (it was common for me to party until 4/5 in the morning, going back to my dorm, sleep for maybe 2-3 hours and wake up to get ready for work).  I did this regularly.

My last semester at Ramapo eerily reminded me of my first year at Ramapo.  Living with random people who had no problem smoking inside the room, being stupid enough to get violations whenever they felt fit.  So where was I most of the time? Home, because that was safe.  I wasn’t going to get a violation while being home.  I wasn’t there, so there was no need for me to worry about getting a violation.

Looking back at that semester, maybe I should of manned up and dealt with what I had to deal with.  Just, dealt with the shit and chugged on.  I feel like I missed a lot nothing anyway, so it was fine that I went home.

That semester was not anything near the greatness of my final full year, and everyone who was at Ramapo, that enjoyed that year with me, knows that.  But we move on, and get ready for our biggest adventure.

Most of the people I have met at Ramapo are my closest friends, and I can see them being my friends for a really long time.  I can see them being involved in my wedding party when I get married, and I know its going to be a hard decision to decide on who my best man for the wedding would be because they’re so many qualities I love about each and every one of them, that it’ll take me awhile to decide on who it should be.

It finally feels like I’m on the right track, let’s hope I don’t screw this up like I’ve screwed things up in the past.